Quotes: Pres. Garcia: You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day, you installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps, and most recently, dumped 100 pounds of meat on a peaceful vegan protest!
Droz: Hey, c'mon -- that was way more than 100 pounds! Droz: I'd love to help you out, but we're cutting into my nap time as it is Pigman: A Bridge Too Far. Caine and Hackman in the same movie! This is my thesis man! This is my closing arguement! I CAN STOP WATCHING TV!!! Droz: These, Tom, are your cause-heads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it... for about a week [Thinking up a name for the band]
Deege: Oedipus and the Mamma's boys.
Cil: Too college radio.
Riji: My Johnson Is Twelve Inches Long.
Cil: Interesting, but doesn't sound like a band name.
Katy: I got it! Everyone Gets Laid!
Deege: Katy, the womynists will be all over us for that one.
Katy: What do you think Droz - tonight, at the pit, Everyone Gets Laid.
Droz: That's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I like it. Womynist: Stop the penis party! Droz: Are, are we having a party?
Cil: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people. Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer. Our instruments blew out so there's no band, and I think Riji and Deege might be dead!
Droz: Wait a minute - no beer?! Activist: Free Nelson Mandella!
Gay: They freed him already. Droz: Moles, you're on the air in ten. Cil, you're on bongos. Me, Dave, and Dave are on beer. Katy, you're a freshman. Find 2,000 people. Droz: Hi, is Sam in there?
Womynist #1: "In there?" What's that supposed to mean?
Womynist #2: Yeah, cock-man-oppressor!
Droz: Why, thank you. Well, maybe one of you could tell her that Mr. Pokey stopped by. Rand: Excuse me! Reality check! Earth to tall bitch! Moles: Droz, what are we going to do when we don't pull this one off?
Droz: Bake sale?
Droz: Pig, gotta change your PJs, we're having a party.
Pigman: Shower scene... Droz: Sandskrit. You're majoring in a 5,000-year-old dead language.
Guy: Yeah.
Droz: [hands him a thesis] Latin, best I can do. Next!
Guy #2: Phys. Ed.
Droz: Phys. Ed. Okay, you're out of my room. Seriously. Get out. Rand: The knee-jerk bleeding heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake, those useless hippie potheads, those commie pinko leftists, the bunny-huggers, the pillow-biters...
Droz: Pillow-biters?
Rand: The butt pirates! And those beastly man haters! Tell those chicks to shave their pits and call me! Droz: I can't believe this. I've been pimped by admissions. Droz: Okay, want some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah...
Droz: Here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before eleven. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink alot of it. Women: you're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: No.
Droz: Someone on your hall will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day. Anything else? Moonbeam: If every student on this campus were to starve, it would be worth the life of a calf. Droz: All right, deadly Zulu drum protest. Haven't seen one of those since my third sophomore year. Droz: That's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I like it! Going back to the REAL World |
